


Honeybuns

by poubelle_squelette



Series: Fuck Me Eight Ways to Sunday [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Deepthroating, F/M, Face-Sitting, Hand Jobs, Kinktober, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader-Insert, Strangers to Lovers, just a cute little office romance, puns, reader is female
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 23:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16252292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poubelle_squelette/pseuds/poubelle_squelette
Summary: You had already baked nearly everyone else in the office their favorite treat, but when you approached Sans?"...i s'pose i've always wanted to give your buns a try."





	Honeybuns

You walked into the lobby, nervously wringing your sweaty palms together. Today, you had a big interview for a position in the company. You were excited, but extremely anxious. You quadruple checked to see that you had your resume and references all ready to go in your portfolio. 

Alright. Now all you needed to do was find the Human Resources Department. You looked around, but saw no directory, signs, or any helpful hint that pointed you in the right direction. You sighed and timidly approached the front desk. The secretary was a skeleton monster who had his feet propped up on the desk and was reclining back in his chair. It almost looked as though he was asleep?

“Uh…Mr. Skeleton?”

Slowly, a pinprick of light illuminated in one of the sockets. You jumped back and let out a yelp. “Ah! I’m…uh…sorry.”

“make no bones about it,” he said gruffly, readjusting himself in the seat. “what can i do ya for?”

You fixed your posture and smoothed out your dress. “I uh…oh, I’m here for an interview with HR. Can you tell me where to go?”

“yup.”

You waited for him to continue, but he grabbed his mug from off the desk and took a big sip. You nervously shifted on your feet. “ _Will_ you tell me where to go?” you asked.

He lazily jerked his head towards the hallway, “second door on the left.”

Before you could squeak out a thank you, he kept talking, “go down the hallway and take the third door on the right, not the second because those are the bathrooms, from there you’ll need to walk through the offices, take the door at the end of the hallway, gotta knock five times though. go about twenty feet and then click your heels together. a secret passage with a hidden staircase will take ya where you need to be.”

He took another big sip. 

You stood there, mouth agape, unsure of how to respond to this. On the one hand, he was clearly fucking with you and you had the urge to reprimand him for it because he was being a jerk. On the other hand, you didn’t want to be rude in case he talked with your interviewer and painted you in a bad light. 

Luckily for you, he started chuckling. “heheheh, hey, sorry for pulling your leg. it is the second door on the left.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, hurrying past him.

The interview went incredibly well. You really felt as though you sold yourself, and they definitely indicated that they would be following up with your references. You left HR feeling great. You checked your watch and saw only about ten minutes had passed. You beamed as you entered the lobby again.

“guess it was a pretty quick meeting,” the skeleton quipped as you walked by. “did you dazzle them with your innate sense of direction?”

“It went really well,” you said.

“huh, that’s good. ya seemed like a nervous wreck when you walked in, glad that went well for you,” he said with a wink.

Actually, you were so focused on being upset by the skeleton’s shenanigans, you forgot about being nervous. Did he do that on purpose? 

You were going to ask him, but his sockets were dark. “zzz.”

What an interesting guy.

\--

After you got hired, you noticed that skeleton (whose name you finally learned was Sans) was kind of an interesting character, but nice enough if you took the time to talk to him. He always seemed to be sleeping and yet the clerical work for the company was always finished almost instantaneously. You had no idea how he did it. Magic, maybe?

Another interesting quirk was that he never actively hung around other members of the staff. You never saw him in the cafeteria or hanging by the water coolers. He never signed up to go with your other coworkers on conferences either. You wondered if something happened before you were hired or if it’s just always been this way. In either case, you felt a little sad and always did your best to be extra friendly when you talked to him in the mornings. You learned he had a penchant for bad jokes, or rather _reactions_ to bad jokes. You couldn’t help but overexaggerate your reactions just a little bit for him.

A few months after getting hired, your office threw a potluck. You enjoyed baking, so you brought some homemade brownies. The party was okay, but you decided to go home a little early. You walked by Sans’s desk. He was snoozing there, like always. You felt a little bad – did he really feel like he had to be here at the front desk while everyone else was enjoying the party? Did he even get the chance to eat? You gently placed your pan down and delicately cut out a brownie. You wrapped it in a napkin and scribbled a little note. You hoped he would like it.

You started bringing in treats somewhat regularly for the office staff, and while you’d leave your tray in the break room for everyone to take from, you would make sure to leave aside one for Sans. You got the impression that he was underappreciated. And, as much as it pained you, you would do your best to write little punny jokes with each note you left. 

He never really mentioned your treats, but he would smile at you more when you came into the office. You took that as a good sign. And you liked leaving him small gifts, so you kept doing it. It started feeling a bit like a cute office flirt…which wasn’t actually an off-putting idea. You kind of liked the thought of an office romance.

One day, he was awake when you dropped by. You were not to be deterred by this, however. You approached the desk and placed your package of cookies down and pushed them towards him. 

“huh, you cook ‘ese for me?” he asked.

You nodded and smiled. “And I’ve been meaning to ask if you prefer something in particular. I’ve made you so many things and nearly everyone in the office’s favorite, but is there anything you really liked, oh. Are you okay? You’re turning blue.”

Sans fiddled with the ribbon around the package. “heh. guess i finally gotta be straight with ya. i can’t actually eat any of the stuff you bring me.”

Your heart sank, feeling a little sad. And that’s when you finally realized: Sans was a skeleton. And skeletons have no stomachs. Or organs of any kind. Of course he couldn’t eat anything, you dumbass. He was just trying to be nice by not saying anything. You wanted to smack yourself for being so stupid.

“I am so, so sorry,” you apologized. “I mean, of course you can’t eat, can you?”

“i can eat.”

You paused. “Wait, huh?”

“magic food,” he said plainly, “i tried to add magic the first time you gave me something, but _muffin_ worked. magic has to be added during the cooking process.”

This made you feel a little better. You’ve seen bagged magic in the shops becoming a regular item you could buy. You nodded, feeling excited again, “Okay! Well now I definitely want to give you something sweet. Is there anything you wanted to try?”

“i s’pose i’ve been wanting to give your buns a try.”

“Oh good! I make all different types you know, but I think my honey buns are the sweetest if you want something really sugary.”

Sans broke eye contact with you. “uh…no, i meant…uh, y’know, never mind.”

“Wait, no. Sans, what is it?” you asked. 

You swore he was getting even more blue in the face and sweaty as he turned away from you. “i don’t even know why i said that, so just fuhgetaboutit.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Seriously man, I just want to do something nice for you. You don’t have to get all dodgy with me. If you had something really hard in mind, I can probably handle it.”

“nah, i'm good.”

You…didn’t really believe him. You tilted your head. Your buns, huh? If he didn’t mean your cooking, then what else could he have…

…

_Oh._

Your look of realization must’ve been pretty obvious, because Sans immediately started babbling on about apologies and how he knew that was inappropriate for work and on and on and on…but you weren’t really listening. 

So…he’d been checking you out. The tips of your ears started burning. You’d be fudging the truth a bit if you said you weren’t interested; and you’d be flat out lying if you said you weren’t at least curious. You eyed him carefully, he was still babbling on. You smiled and leaned over his desk to give him a peck on the cheek, effectively shutting him up.

“You wanna get out of here?” you asked.

“…sure.”

“Really?”

“yeah. carpal diem and all that.” Wink. (hesitant wink)

You nodded towards the door and the two of you were out and you were driving back to your house. When you arrived, you glanced at Sans in the passenger seat. You leaned over and gave him another kiss on his cheek. Sans cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in deeper for a real kiss, and it felt like _fire_ was running through your blood. 

Okay.

You were doing this.

The two of you got out of your car and rushed into your home. You barely had the sense to lock the door behind you before your lips were on him again. That fiery feeling was coursing through you; it made you feel powerful and strong. Like you were kissing with purpose. It was so different than any other kiss you’d ever had.

You liked it.

You and Sans made your way over to your bedroom. You pushed the door open and the two of you stumbled in very ungracefully. You took off Sans’s jacket and continued kissing his face, leaving lipstick marks on the pearly white bones. He pulled on your blouse, nimble fingers quickly undoing the buttons. He pushed the fabric off your shoulders and it fell to the floor as well. You reached back to unhook your bra and threw it down as well. 

Sans pulled you in closer, feeling the bare skin on his fingers and gently prodding you before settling on cupping your butt over your skirt. He gave it a tentative squeeze. You pushed your own hands up underneath his shirt and felt his bones. Sturdy, for sure. You let your hands travel down towards his pubic bone and gently caressed the curve of the bone. 

Sans pulled away from your kisses. “so…any chance i’m gonna get my treat now?”

You snorted and shimmied out of your skirt so that you were standing in just your underwear. You smiled at him and gestured towards the bed. He jumped into the bed, resting his head on the pillow comfortably. 

“so, why doncha come on over and have a seat,” he said impishly. He smiled at you meaningfully and after you processed that request, you blushed and looked away.

You hesitated another moment, second guessing if this was actually happening. Sans seemed to notice your apprehension because he sat up. “you can tap out if you want. i know this happened kinda quick.”

“It did happen fast, but I’m good. I promise,” you said.

Sans fell back into your bed’s cushions with a soft landing. He definitely looked comfortable lying there.

“perfect position,” he said, eye lights disappearing. 

You laughed and stripped your underwear before sitting on the edge of the bed next to Sans. “So um…this is kind of awkward, but I guess since you need to eat, do you also need to breathe or like…uh,” you fretted for a minute, “sorry, I’m not, like, going to crush your skull or anything, am I?”

Sans snickered. “nope.”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Cool.” 

You lifted your leg over so you were straddling Sans and slowly inched yourself over until you were hovering above his face. You looked down to see him smirking up at you. You suddenly felt incredibly self conscious. You were still using your legs as leverage to hover over his mouth, still not entirely convinced you weren’t going to hurt him. 

Sans gripped your thighs and pulled, forcing you to stop hovering over him. You were now completely on his face and his hands squeezed your butt, keeping you firmly in place. He hummed contently, and without warning a cool tongue began licking your folds. 

Sans moved very slowly, letting his tongue trace along the outer lips. He took his time dragging his tongue up and down the outside of your hole. His tongue flicked your clit, eliciting a small squeak. Sans chuckled, which made his mouth vibrate against you. He licked your clit again, using the tip of his tongue to pleasure you with light strokes.

You shifted your hips and tried to roll into his face to get more pressure there, but Sans held you pretty steady. A tingly feeling started to spread. Wherever his tongue lapped, the residual feeling lingered. Your thighs were already shaking, unable to take the light touches. An ache started to grow, and you did your best to keep back from moaning; he’d just started and you didn’t want to cum from him doing hardly anything. 

Sans continued his slow pace, taking great care to savor the moment and lap everything up. He teased your clit again, rubbing his tongue back and forth on the sensitive spot before moving away again. He started feeling your thighs, letting his hands roam over the fat, pinching it in between his fingers. He used his position underneath you to grab your thighs even tighter than before and drove his tongue as far into your entrance as he could. 

You moaned loudly before cupping a hand over your mouth. Your free hand scratched the surface of your headboard. You were clinging to it to keep from totally falling apart. How does this feel so fucking good?

“huh, you really want me to answer that right now?”

You yelped and glanced down. Shit, did you say that out loud? Sans was looking up at you, as if actually expecting an answer. You collected yourself as your arousal died down a little.

“H-how are you talking with…” _with your tongue so far up my vagina you can taste what I ate for lunch_?

Sans shook with laughter. “oh, oh god. what a description.”

“I…didn’t mean to say that out loud either,” you said. 

“’s alright,” he said, swirling his tongue as he did so. “makes me feel way less awkward when i say that it may not be your lunch, but ya taste pretty sweet.”

You shuddered. This guy?! Sans was certainly full of surprises. You rolled your hips again, and Sans groaned against you. His voice should _not_ be that attractive. 

His finger tips lightly scratched your back as he began tasting your outer folds again. Your thighs tightened around his skull. He focused in on your clit again, rapidly flicking his tongue back and forth. His hands dropped down to hold as much of your butt as he could. You trembled, squeezing your thighs tighter.

The tingling spread through your body. You started shaking even harder. Sans’s wet tongue trailed along your entrance and clit, pulling you so it was flush against his mouth. He hummed again, vibrations travelling along with the tingle. You screwed your eyes shut and another moan escaped your mouth. 

Suddenly, the tingling stopped. You opened your eyes and whined, “Why did it st-AH!”

All at once, the feeling drained to your pussy, your clit suddenly getting all that tingly magic at once. Sans only had to gently prod it with his tongue and you began to double over. The pleasure felt like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You were blinded and you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming as you desperately rode his face, wanting and craving that feeling again. Big, fat tears rolled down your cheeks as he licked your clit again, still overly sensitive. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to feel ashamed as you rode out your second orgasm. 

The feeling began to dissipate, but you couldn’t get your legs to move. 

“…cool trick, huh?”

He used his hands and slid you down his body like it was nothing. You rolled off him, still a little shaky. “Well…I…that was a surprise.”

Sans rubbed the back of his neck. “thanks for the treat, probably should…get goin?”

You blinked, haziness still set in. “Um…but you didn’t…”

“nah, i’m good.”

“Sans you can’t let me ride your face without doing something for you in return.”

“…alright. i s’pose i could throw you a bone.”

…

You laughed. “Geez, well looking at those shorts of yours, it seems that a certain bone wants to be thrown.”

You reached over and stroked it through his shorts. You glanced at Sans, but his head was already thrown back. Small droplets of sweat were running down his forehead. But he was still in his clothes. You took your hand from his crotch and snaked them up his shirt, helping to push it up and over his head.

Huh. He was pretty cool looking, like this. His ribcage wasn’t all pearly white like his face. There was a pale blue flush to them. You gently ran your palm down his sternum. Still just as sturdy as before.

You shifted your focus to his shorts. You dipped your fingers beneath the waistband. You looked at Sans again, and he gave you a tiny nod. You stripped the shorts from his body and threw them to the floor with the rest of the clothes. 

Ohh.

“Your dick is fucking cute,” you blurted.

Small and round and fat and blue. Cute probably shouldn’t have been the adjective you used, but that’s what it was. You hoped you hadn’t just offended him. 

Sans stared at you, speechless, and then, “heheheheh, oh geez. c’mon pal; we both know it’d rather be fucking you.”

Your ears burned again.

Sans’s face was a lovely shade of navy.

“Maybe, after this,” you said, lowering yourself so you could take him in your mouth. You swirled your tongue around the head. Hm. It left the same tingly feeling his tongue did.

It really must be magic.

“ah.”

He made a small sound, but it was enough encouragement to keep going. You used the flat of your tongue to lick up the shaft before sucking on the head. You could feel his bones rattling beneath you. You used your hands to pin his pelvis to the bed, your own fingernail digging into an edge.

Sans hissed and bucked up, so you dug your nails in further. There wasn’t nearly as much give as with skin, but you could tell it was still doing something for him. You hummed against his cock happily.

“mm.”

Another small sound. You started bobbing your head slowly around him, letting his dick glide in and out of your mouth. You closed your eyes so you could focus on the pace you were setting. A bony hand settled at the back of your head. As you went in, he gently pushed you a little further to take just a little more in.

Ah. 

Okay.

It was hard to smile, given your current position, but you hoped Sans could tell you were good. You pulled back, just enough, and in one fell swoop took his entire length in your mouth. The tip went right to the back of your throat. 

“hah!”

The hand gripped your head a little tighter. You repeated the motion, trying to get Sans to make the same noises. You swallowed him as best as you could, letting his dick go as far back into your throat as you could get it. You went faster, letting your tongue swirl and lick as his cock went down your throat.

Sans was mumbling, but kept his hand steady on the back of your head. You took one hand off his pelvis and started tracing along his leg where his thigh would be…if he had one. 

“g-guess i should grow a spine and tell you to touch me there.”

Your laugh was muffled, and it made Sans’s dick twitch in your mouth. He let out a haggard breath as you started tracing along the edges of his spine. He was sharp and pointy there, but you gripped onto the small vertebrates and delicately rubbed them as you continued to bob your head.

Sans was much more urgent now, as he started pulling your head towards himself rather than holding you still. You sucked your cheeks in, hoping that he felt just as good as you. 

“god. can i-”

A steady spurt of cum began coating your throat, some dribbling out of your mouth and down your chin. It was cool and tingly, which was really strange, but not unpleasant. You sucked him off a little longer to make sure you’d gotten it all, and then you removed yourself from him and plopped down next to him on the bed.

“A little late there, bud.”

“…sorry. guess i came at the wrong time.”

What a guy.

“hey so, thanks for the sweet treat,” Sans said, looking at the covers. He wiggled his hand over so he could slide it under your butt. “buns still feelin’ like a good choice.”

…He was pretty endearing, you weren’t going to lie.

“Hey, this was fun. Anytime you want a taste of my _honeybuns_ you just ask,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

“anytime?” Sans looked contemplative before he squeezed your ass. “kinda in the mood for some more right now,” he said.

You kissed his cheek. “Anytime,” you confirmed, already repositioning yourself for a second round.


End file.
